Birthday reflection

I turned 36 last week, and I think birthdays are always a great opportunity to reflect. I've been reflecting on my health journey that started many years ago and has taken lots of unexpected turns along the way.

A big part of this health journey has been my fertility journey with my husband that started about 5 years ago. This process has taught me more about myself than I ever saw coming. It has been extremely difficult, rewarding, and a roller coaster of all emotions. This last year has been particularly challenging. I learned that I had high levels of toxins in my body including mold, heavy metals and toxic chemicals, that I have a higher sensitivity to these toxins and genetically do not detox well. My immune system had been in overdrive for some time, my internal stress was through the roof and my body no longer knew what it was like to feel safe. This also contributed to multiple gut and hormone issues. We had to move out of our home because of hidden mold and I focused most of my energy towards healing. My chronic fatigue was at an all time high. There have been some really hard days. However, those days have made the good days really stand out. This has taught me that knowing the darkness helps you appreciate the light.

With all of that said, I wouldn't change any of it. I am a different person because of this experience and my relationship with myself has improved with each road block and each blind turn. I have witnessed my strength and vulnerability. This journey has opened me up to incredible healing modalities that I never knew existed. It has opened my heart in new ways. It has shifted my energy, my values, my relationships. I am learning to be proud of myself for the warrior I have become. To celebrate the little victories. To be okay fitting out. To be true to my authentic self. To be okay letting go of control, of planning. To surrender and to trust. I have learned the importance of slowing down and to listen to the whispers from my body, so that it doesn't have to shout. Symptoms are our bodies trying to tell us something and it's worth paying attention to because our bodies are so much more intelligent than we give them credit for.

I am so grateful to my husband who has been on this journey with me. He has shown me unconditional love and support when I have needed it most. He continues to help me grow and heal and become my most authentic self. I am a big work in progress but I am so grateful to be on this path. I am very proud of myself for putting in the work even when it's not the easier option. I know this next year will continue to show me beauty in so many unexpected ways.